Story: Bob & Jenny

Kirjoitettu 2009 talvella. Fiktiivistä dialogia chat-muodossa.


Jenny> hi u wanna c my cam?

Bob> Sure why not.

*** Jenny has turned on his/her webcam ***

Bob> Isn't it cold in Wyoming this time of the year?

Jenny> lol no why?

Bob> Judging by your outfit, I'd say it's at least 75 degrees in there.

Jenny> u can keep me warm lol ;)

Bob> Why do you do that?

Jenny> what??

Bob> You know I can see you, don't you?

Jenny> ofc

Bob> So why do you do that?

Jenny> umm what?

*Video feed shows Jenny swiftly buttoning her blouse.*

Bob> Lie to my face.

Jenny> excuse me?

Bob> Your acronym "lol" implied you would be "Laughing out loud" probably due to you finding the previous conversation entertaining, but your posture and facial expression signified a whole different story. In fact, I think you looked more sad than amused.

Jenny> u serious?

Bob> Yes, I'm afraid so. I do have it all recorded if you don't believe me.

*** Jenny has shut down his/her webcam ***

Jenny> ur recording me!?

Bob> Ignoratio Elenchi.

Jenny> wtf

Jenny> speak english

Bob> I'm simply pointing out that your attempt at derailing the argument from your lie to my evidence gathering methods makes your argument fallacious.

Jenny> whatever

Bob> Are you seeing a psychiatrist?

Jenny> no

Bob> Have you considered seeing one?

Jenny> ur the one who recorded me

Bob> No worries, I already burned it on DVD.

Jenny> what!?

Bob> Well you were worried that you wouldn’t be able to show the video to your future psychiatrist, weren’t you? So I burned it on DVD for you.

Jenny> wtf no. im not seeing a psych!

Bob> I really don't see you in your present state fit to be a member of our society. We didn't talk but 30 seconds and you were already lying to your teeth.

Jenny> its not a fucking lie! i just lolled!

Bob> You can't conjugate an acronym into past tense. I'd also assert that your lie had nothing to do with mating, and I don't recall even suggesting that. You really need to see a psychiatrist, Jenny.

Jenny> just shut up

Bob> I take it that you find the whole process of finding the right psychiatrist arduous? Well, in that case, might I recommend my services, as I happen to be one, and we seem to be getting along quite well.It would also save you the shipping costs of that DVD.

Bob> So what do you say?

Bob> Jenny?

Bob> Alright, I'll ship it for free then. But you’ll miss out, I’m one of the best.

Bob> I'll call you if you don't answer, as I'm afraid your current condition might be suicidal. Let me help you.

Jenny> why do u even have my number?! leave me the fuck alone!!

Bob> Jenny please don’t make this any harder for yourself.

Bob> And might I add that I don't want to mate with you.

Bob> Jenny?

*** Jenny has signed off***